The Dangers Of Divorcing As A Christian


This week saw social media buzzing due to the disagreement between Nigerian Singer, Timi Dakolo and Cool FM OAP, Daddy Freeze over the issue of marriage and divorce.
While Timi disapproved of divorce and says people are the problem and not marriage, Daddy Freeze opposed such giving instances that support divorce. 

The reason why I am writing on this issue is that many Christians have now seen divorce as something cool without knowing how dangerous it is to them. You can't support divorce to an extent and still remain a Christian. You can't even claim to be a Christian when you remarry after a divorce. 

The reason why it is so is because Christians are to follow the commands and teachings of Jesus Christ. The moment you disobey them, you stop being a follower of his. So what did he say about marriage and divorce? 

1. Does Jesus Christ support marriage? 

Mark 10:7-8
7. For this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and be united with his wife
8. and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

He even attended a wedding where he performed his first miracle which is turning water to wine. John2:1-12

2. What's his view on divorce? 

Divorce is something God hates and doesn't wish for mankind in the union of marriage. But God understands that certain things can hurt a man/woman so much that he/she will want to do away with his/her wife/husband. It could be domestic violence, irresponsibility, dirtiness, adultery etc. Out of all those things, adultery is the only grounds on which a CHRISTIAN marriage can be dissolved. 

Mathew 19:9
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 

Do you know that you can still forgive the adulterous partner and continue the marriage? Doing that shows that you are a true follower of Christ who says we should forgive those who offend us. What if the partner repeats the same thing over and over again? You have to keep forgiving until it reaches 77 times. 

Mathew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

You might see the task of forgiving that adulterous partner as something too huge to bear. You just have to do it as part of your Christian journey which is filled with trying times. 

Before you conclude that you rather opt for the divorce option, you should know that the burden in that is way huge than remaining with the partner who has hurt you so much. 

3. Did Jesus Christ support remarriage after divorce? 

Reading Mathew 19:9 above, one can immediately conclude that he or she can remarry as long as the reason for the divorce is due to adultery on the partner's side. 

But was Jesus supporting remarriage for a divorcee? No, cos he explained more in the gospel of Luke.

Luke 16:18
"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Earlier, we saw that the only reason a Christian marriage can be dissolved is if a partner engaged in adultery. Now, we see that a divorced Christian man cannot remarry. If he does, then it means he has committed a sin called adultery.

What about a divorced woman? Any man who marries her commits adultery with her. What this implies is that to divorce as a Christian means you have to remain single for the rest of your life. To avoid this faith, you have the option of forgiving the partner. 

Well, there are instances that may appear gravey and which are one of the reasons why Christians of today wrongly divorce and even go ahead to remarry. One of such is domestic violence. 

Daddy Freeze, in his argument with Timi Dakolo, gave an instance of a man who woke to see his wife in the middle of trying to cut off his manhood. He wondered why anyone would advice such a man to remain in the life-threatening relationship. We also see cases of men beating their wives to stupor like she's a criminal. Do such instances require a Christian marriage to be divorced? No. 

Mathew 19:9
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 

What can be done in such instance where you feel your life is threatened is to file for separation, not divorce. Separate from the partner for a while which might include you leaving the house. After a while, the partner will come to his or her right senses. If it's a man, he will definitely miss your loving care, how you wash his clothes, cook his meal, clean the house and the warmth of your body. If it's a woman, she will miss you cos women always want a manly authority over them. She will realize that you are the only person who can tolerate her shortcomings. 

If separation appears too hard, then go for counselling. The issues in the marriage will be ironed out. 

If after all of that the partner doesn't change, then divorce is still not the answer. Go to God in prayer and let Him know what you are facing. Let Him know that you are still in the marriage because you want to remain obedient to Him. He will surely give you rest. Remember "come to me ye that labour and heavy laden and I will give you rest".

You see, when you remarry, you make God distant from you. He's someone that hates divorce. 

Malachi 2:16
NET Bible
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and the one who is guilty of violence," says the LORD who rules over all. "Pay attention to your conscience, and do not be unfaithful."

If He was part of your first marriage and is also Someone that hates divorce, do you think he will part of the new union? No. That's why Jesus stated it that such union is adultery which is one of the things God hates. 

Take a look at the wedding Jesus Christ attended in the Bible. What if it ended in divorce and one party decides to remarry. Do you think Jesus Christ would honor an invitation to such? 

You see, most people might see this to be tasking, some might even think Jesus is laying a heavy burden on Christians. No, the opposite is the case. 

Mathew 11:29-30
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. 

Above, we see Christ telling us to learn from him. Learning from him makes us Christians. He loved us so much that he gave his life for us. That's why his apostle told men to love their wives in the same manner. 

Ephesians 5:24-25
… 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 

If you say you don't want to bear the burden he is placing on you which is light, then you need to go for counselling so as to see what you will face when you ignore him, which are the horrors that accompany divorce. 

Examples are the trauma the children will go through, distance from friends and family who wouldn't want to pick a side etc. You expose yourself to dangers of eternal damnation. 

Divorcing for reasons other than sexual immorality is equal to committing sin. Remarrying is also committing sin. Staying in such marriage is equivalent to living in sin. All of these make you liable for eternal damnation. 

Now, which burden is light? The One that has you forgiving an offending partner, remaining single after divorcing a cheating partner and gaining eternal life or the one that sees you divorcing your partner for reasons other that adultery, the One that sees you remarrying and ending up in damnation eternally? 

When you divorce due to reasons other than adultery, you tell God that you cannot stand the tests that a Christian should be built for. Just a problem of domestic violence and you are ready to disobey your Lord Jesus Christ. What Will you now do when you come across the violence of the Great Tribulation? What Will you do when a cutlass is placed on your neck asking you to deny Jesus or your head falls off? Yes, you will deny him since you disobeyed him concerning divorce. Disobeying his commands concerning divorce shows how much you hold him dear. Domestic violence made you disobey him. This means that the violence of the Great Tribulation will make you deny him cos you can't endure anything for him.

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